After the death of my friend and my decision to stop taking drugs, the rest of the year from the Summer Solstice onwards was spent productively. I took on part time work as a gardener's assistant and this was a very healing thing for me to have been doing at this point. I remember I was jogging a lot all around Highgate, in North London, where I was living at the time. Also I read voraciously finishing at least two or three decent sized books a week. Mainly I was reading books about science, religion and philosophy but also I read a wide variety of periodicals as well. I recall that around this time I was thinking a lot about spiritual and metaphysical matters. It was a relative halcyon period of my life but at the same time there was a sense of unease. At the back of my mind there was always the troubling thought that I had jeopardized my long term aims through the senseless way that I had lived over the past few years. There was a feeling that I had wasted valuable time and that it was necessary for me to play catch up. Anyway, this definitely acted as a kind of spur, as I really got down to work in the latter part of 1997.


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